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Father
Suicide Directory








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Hal
was a Widower and had a daughter, Danica, from a previous marriage.
He then had two children with a new wife who left him when they were
toddlers. (She was reported to have taken up with her Courtenay
lawyer.) When our BC Family Courts put Hal
through
it's torments of Imputed Income,
Gleaned Wages,
State Imposed Homelessness,
and
Debtor's Prison, they imposed these same torments on his
daughter Danica, then a Tween. Hal points out the Support Tables
assume the only children to support are the Payee's children.
You can see where that left Hal & Danica: homeless and
dependent on the kindnesses of neighbors.
More...
Imputed Income
Jeffery Hal's Testimonial;
Hall Jeffery's Danica Petition
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"Desperate Husbands", by Stephen Perrine
2006-06-18 Keeping Divorced Dads at a Distance, Stephen
Perrine, Stephen Perrine, the editor in chief of
Best Life magazine, is
the author of the forthcoming "Desperate Husbands."(Thanks,
Paul Forseth)
EVERY other weekend for the past four and a half years, I've spent
three precious days with my two adolescent daughters. We play tennis
in summer, ski in winter, travel when the school schedule allows.
But no matter where we are, we're all keenly aware of the thin
membrane of secrecy that keeps us from being as close as we were
before their mom and I divorced. <Equal
Parenting eliminates this!!!>
Like most divorced fathers, I'm caught in
exactly the kind of nightmarish situation that experts on stress say
to avoid a great deal of responsibility, but very little power.I'm
the major source of support for my children; my financial
obligations are set by the state, and my wages automatically
garnished. (If I lost my job tomorrow, and couldn't keep up with my
payments, a warrant for my arrest would be issued within two
months.) But my influence over how my daughters are being raised is
limited, sometimes by decisions their mother makes that I have no
input into, and sometimes by their allegiance to her when she and I
are at odds. ... They'll forget to tell me
some detail of their lives or downright lie if they have to so I
won't feel sad that I've missed something they shared with their
mom, or raise issue over some decision she's made with which I might
not agree. As a result, I sometimes come away from visits or phone
calls feeling shaken, saddened and angry. My ex and I
have been to court over support issues, and we've been to court over
custody issues, and the legal battles inevitably trap our children
in the middle and force them to choose sides. Sadly, this is exactly
what not to do if you want to foster a loving parent-child bond. In
a study by a child psychologist, ...
The first step toward fostering a father and child reunion is to
make private mediation of the parenting provisions (physical
custody, legal custody and visiting) the standard procedure.
Allowing parents the chance to negotiate their support and
possibly give fathers more of a say in how their support is spent
will decrease the vitriol, and let fathers feel more like parents,
not just paychecks.
Second, we need to enact and enforce
sensible penalties for interfering with visits. Jailing a mother
is no way to solve the dispute; neither are financial penalties
that hurt her ability to care for the child. But mediation
perhaps compelled by the threat of financial penalty might be
the solution. It's estimated that one in five children of
divorce has not seen his or her father in the past year. Without
substantial rethinking of our current support and custody law,
children will continue to be alienated from their fathers, and
lawyers will remain on hand to soak up the resulting legal fees.

Just this month, I received a summons to attend a custody
conference at the Allentown, Pa., courthouse, and another letter
informing me that an accounting error has left me short on
support payments, and that my passport may be suspended. I want
to shield my daughters from these harsh truths. So these are the
secrets I'll be trying to keep from them as we gather together
for Father's Day. What secrets will they be keeping from
me?
Stephen Perrine, the editor in chief of Best Life magazine, is
the author of the forthcoming "Desperate Husbands."
For more...
canadacourtwatch.com
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